i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
