She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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