I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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