i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
