Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
