I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
