I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize