My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
