Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
