yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
