i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
