Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize