Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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