Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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