this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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