I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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