found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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