well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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