My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
