the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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