I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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