if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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