Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
