I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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