I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
