i think my tv is drunk
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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