She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Randomize