Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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