We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this boner is exhausting
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
