I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
