Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize