I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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