he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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