i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
