What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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