he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i've created a new STD.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
