you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
