True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
