oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
