Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
