You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize