You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
