$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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