Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize