I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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