Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
