Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
a search helicopter?!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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