I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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