God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
my poor anus
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
