My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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