how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
