i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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