He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
