Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
and she was petting her beer can
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
