just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
