what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
