Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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