you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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