I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
