i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
