I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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