it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize