I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
