In the future we'll all be gay
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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