were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
