i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
