dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize